I'm like trying to not count down or pay attention to time, but also I can't believe how fast time goes, and I feel like your whole mission you just have forever left and then you just wake up one day and it's almost over. But the greatest thing I've learned this week is that it's not going to be over. Like yes I won't be in SC anymore, or have the need for the missionary mantle because I won't be doing this full time, BUT there are still just some many good things that happen, and I'll still bring people to Christ and testify of his gospel. It's become a part of me and I'm so thankful for the experiences and knowledge we get to take with us. I'm just going on this tangent because I did so not feel this way this past week. I've just been on this emional roller coaster and actually have no idea how to feel. But I realized the cure is work. And there's so much I can't control so I just focus on others. Which even though I've been a missionary for a while, it still doesn't get easier to like fully give your heart God. But I'm trying. And I love these people, and I think I've forgotten just the little ways we can make a difference. And also that we can improve, and just start today. The way to balance being overwhelmed by short comings and mistakes of yesterday and the uncertanity of tomorrow, is to just be in today. And be present, to be exactly where your feet are.
I'm learning the reality of the hymn "I need thee every hour"
I used to get kind of annoyed when people say you're never alone because you always have Christ, mostly because I didn't have a relationship with him at the time, but I just didn't see how that could genuinely help you, but it does.
Anyways some little things that happened this week.. We were driving to an app and I saw this guy walking and had the biggest impression that we needed to talk to him, but he was like way behind us, so I pulled into a side street and we just waited. I FELT SO CREEPY. And then we gave him a card out of our car window and I thought it would be so scary but then I just testified and it was like the coolest thing ever. And I think it's super important to celebrate the little things and what we can communicate control.
I'm thankful for the Holy Ghost who literally guides me and helps me to feel of God's love, idk how I ever tried to do this whole life thing without Him. And I just don't want anyone else to have to either. He's helped me to be happy, not perfect but happy and complete. A happiness I testify that cannot be found anywhere else except in Him and His teachings. And comfort and satisfaction that can't be filled without repenting and living His commandments. And understanding and knowledge of His love that cannot be felt without learning of Him and striving to come closer to Him. I will forever testify of the fullness of all God has for us in His church, and I will thank Him eternally.
(p.s mom this pic was from last week before we talked.. So I didn't cheat :))